Who do you think is in control of your feelings and thoughts? Is it you? Give it some thought.

Suppose I say you are the most noble person I have ever met in my life, that I would give anything to be like you, that you are my role model and I literally worship you. How would you feel? Great! Now suppose I say you are a worthless loser with nothing to achieve in life. How do you feel? Saddened?

As you can see, many times our feelings may be governed and subtly controlled by the opinion of others. It contributes to the reason why happiness for so many is a desirable, yet fleeting experience. Real happiness is found within – it is that which does not depend on external factors such as what others might think of you. Everlasting happiness is derived from something deep down in our very nature that allows one to be happy and grateful for our existence here. If you are not influenced by what others think of you and can lead your life to be and do good, you can be truly happy.

Buddha provides us lessons on life

Once Buddha was teaching a man who disagreed with him and started to verbally abuse him. Buddha, however, was calm and serene with a smile on his face; he remained unmoved by his comments. Seeing this, the man got even more agitated and escalated his shouting and abuse. Still, there was no reaction from Buddha.

The man, tired, asked the Buddha, “Why is it that you never respond?”

Buddha replied “If you offer me a gift and I don’t accept it, who has the gift now?”

The man replied “Of course, I do, don’t you even know that!”

Then the Buddha calmly replied, “Suppose I don’t accept your abuses, with whom do they remain?”

The man was quiet.

This small incident in the life of Buddha teaches us a great deal. Buddha realized that he can never be happy if he sought happiness from outside. It was easy for the Buddha to feel flattered when his disciples praised him and feel bitter when someone disagreed with him. However, Buddha always remained calm and composed because his life was not controlled by others – he was in control of his life. His happiness and his outlook didn’t depend on what others thought about him, rather they came from a sense of fulfillment that came from deep within his own being.

It is easy for us to feel bitter with the people around us. It is easy to feel that life has been unfair and feel all bad about it. It is easy to feel jealous of the success of others and question God why he is being unfair. It is easy to ask ‘Why Me’ when things go wrong. However, opportunities and hurdles come in everyone’s life. The point is, if you are unfazed by them, then you can remain eternally happy. Your happiness should not depend on your success and failure or on what others think about you or how better off you are compared to your neighbor. Only when you realize this, you can be truly happy with life.

Feel dejected with life and bogged down with failures and uncertainties? Take a cue from the life of Steve Jobs. As one of the biggest names in the corporate world, Steve has passed through many life’s challenges prior to making one of the biggest comebacks in corporate history. It would have been easy to give up at any stage, however, Jobs never quit. He always listened to his heart and his heart said,

You’ve got to find what you love. Keep looking…don’t settle.”

Have the courage to follow your heart: Young Steve was adopted by Paul and Clara Jobs after his biological mother, a young unwed graduate student put him up for adoption. After high school, Jobs went to college for only six months after which he dropped out!! Jobs realized it was too costly for his parents and he just couldn’t see value in this type of education. At this point, Jobs had absolutely no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He claims, however, that this was one of the best decisions he ever made. He began taking classes that he found interesting. He took calligraphy class and though he didn’t know it then, he now credits this as the inspiration for the world’s most widely utilized computer fonts. He went to India to travel and find enlightenment. Jobs followed his instincts and trusted that the dots would somehow connect in the future. As Jobs explains,

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”

Don’t lose faith: Steve finally got in touch with former co-worker, Steve Wozniak, and they decided to partner together to work on a project in personal computing technology. Jobs and Wozniak started Apple Computers in the Jobs family garage. In the span of ten years, Apple grew to become a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. And then just when everything was going well, after the first Macintosh was release, life thru Jobs another curveball and he was fired by the board of directors! He was publicly ousted; it was humiliating. Jobs questioned,

How do get fired from a company you started???”

After realizing that he still loved what he was doing, Steve Jobs made a big decision-he decided to start all over again. Not even a handful of people would have the courage to stick it out, in spite of such difficulties. He didn’t have an image to take care of now, and he soon enjoyed one of the most creative periods of his life. He learned,

To live today as if were the last day of your life. If it were, would you want to do what you are doing today? If the answer is no too many days in a row, you are doing something wrong.

Jobs went on to start another company called NeXT and then, of course, Pixar. As fate would have it, Apple then acquired NeXT and Jobs came full circle back to Apple Computers going on to take the CEO position. Jobs again made history by bringing Apple back with avengeance with the advent of the newer Apple computers and the revolutionary iPod.

These feats of Steve Jobs are extraordinary and unparalleled. He never gave up at any point in time, even when things seemed to turn ugly. Jobs persisted when the tide was against him and continued to do what he loved to do. If you want to keep going ahead in life, you should never give up on what is close to your heart; take a cue from Steve Jobs and always persist in the face of adversity.

Please watch one of the most inspirational speeches I have ever seen. Steve Jobs at a Stanford Graduation Commencement 2005: